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To be seen or not to be seen… that is the question!

Posted by on October 23, 2014 | 0 comments

An Introduction from Susan

My commitment is to women being the best they can be on their journey to health and wellness.  This means taking care not only of our bodies, but our minds and spirit as well.  It is with this in mind that I share these MODAvational Notes.  If you would like to receive these messages on a regular basis in your email, please send an email to susan{at}MODAbySofia{dot}com. If you choose to read on, please do so knowing that I am committed to being a positive contribution to you and your life. Enjoy! And please feel free to comment, we would LOVE to hear from you
To Be Seen Or Not To Be Seen? That Is The Question!”

Isn’t it interesting how life works?

My daughter Gabriela loves theater, and we have been a part of that incredible community for several years. During this time, we’ve been fortunate to establish relationships with some great families – many longtime friends and some new friends. We carpool together, meet for drinks and see each other at rehearsals. Our kids all have similar interests – they fall into character in two seconds and they know the lyrics to every musical theater song! Our men like each other too, and although I’ve known some of these folks for less than a year, it feels like we’ve known each other forever.

One of these new but very dear friends, Lisa, recently invited me to attend the birthday party of a gal didn’t yet know well. I rsvp’d yes…and then learned that I’d signed up for a four-day girls trip to Santa Barbara with a group of girls I didn’t know! OMG… fear sunk in, my tummy turned – I wasn’t sure if I was excited or freaked out. My inner self-doubt went into overdrive. “What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t like them? What if I don’t fit in? What if I’m not good enough to be part of their group? What if they’ve all known each other for years, and I am the only one who doesn’t have funny stories to reminisce about?” So many fears ran through my head, and yet instinctively, I said YES. I was going to push through this fear, and go. I had never met three of the ladies, I had exchanged just 10 words with the other three, and I was just starting a good friendship with another.

My trip prep started by shopping for some yummy food and I decided to pre-mix a great cocktail. I told myself this prep was so I would be sure I had some yumminess that everyone would enjoy. You know I love to take care of my loved ones by filling their tummies with things they really like.

The departure day arrived and I picked up Lisa in my car. Five minutes in to our drive, Lisa said, “Oh no I can’t find my phone.” We looked everywhere in the car. We called Lisa’s phone and nothing. We went back to her house and tore apart the car. I guess it wouldn’t have been so bad if it were just her phone, but her case also serves as her wallet with all her cards and cash. At one point she exclaimed, “I can’t go on this trip without it.” I panicked. Standing frozen on her driveway, I visualized myself on this trip without her. It was bad enough not really knowing the other six gals, but at least I was comfortable with Lisa.
After about 20 minutes, we found her phone and were on our way to the Solana Beach train station. The station attendant directed us to Track 1. We met the other ladies at the station, and I began to relax, until one of the gals looked across the tracks and said, “Wait, that’s our train…on Track 2! We were told the wrong track!” We all started to move like crazies running for the stairs to get to the bridge to Track 2. But shoot, we had so much stuff, we can’t run AND we can’t take the stairs – we had to take the elevator! The door opened, we ran in, hit the close button 100 times and waited. I begin chanting to the train conductor…”Mr. Conductor, you can’t leave without us. Yoo-hoo, Mr. Conductor, we’re coming… please don’t leave…”  As we were riding down on the elevator, we heard the conductor say, “ ll aboard, we are pulling out.” OH NO THIS WAS NOT GOOD! So Lisa, brilliant Lisa, stands in the doorway inhibiting the train door from closing. One leg out, one leg on the train, she was not going to let the door close without us! Finally, the elevator doors flew open, we lept out and threw, literally, threw everything on the train, we hop on, and the door close right behind us. All my stuff was on, all the girls were on…all was good…for the moment anyway!

pretty girls waiting for train    Here we are! Posing, not realizing that was our train.

oh no, there's our train  OH WAIT! Isn’t that our train? Why is it on track 2?

Nerves turned into uncontrollable sweat and giggles. My awesome curls were now drenched, my unmentionables soaked, and my pits were starting to smell.

This was like a made for TV movie and we were all the main characters.

We found seats, had some celebratory drinks, snacked on some munchies and enjoyed the ride up the California coast. There was rarely a moment of silence, as the day was filled with deep discussions, funny stories and tons of laughter.

On the train, our seats were very near to the bathroom – both a good thing and a bad thing. Have you ever tried to lock the tricky sliding lock in there? There I was, in the bathroom, when the door slid open and I came eye-to-eye with the cutey that was sitting next to the birthday girl. I thought, “Oh My Gosh – what the heck is happening? Why me??” Not only did we stare at each other for a brief moment, he pulled his two fingers up to his eyes, and gives me the “I see you” sign. I walked out of the tiny room to laughter so loud I had to start laughing too. Lucky for me, I had a little beverage left in my cup to wash the embarrassment down. After a few more hours passed, I went into the bathroom again, and sure as can be, the door slides open AGAIN. I scream…and with the reflexes of a ninja I slammed the door shut, but not before the man and I locked eyes. As I left the bathroom he said, “Next time use the lock!” I wanted to jump off the train.

Most of the weekend followed suit. Lots of laughter, tons of pictures, and lots of knocking on bathroom doors asking “Susan are you in there?” Sheesh…

And this was just the start; the start to what I know will be a beautiful friendship.
When I reflect on that weekend, I think about how much fun I had meeting these gals and celebrating life with them. Celebrating a birthday, celebrating friendship, celebrating a community of women. I checked in with that familiar story that runs in my head when I am feeling most vulnerable. “Am I worthy? Am I good enough?” With every passing experience of that old conversation in my head – I am reminded that I am worthy simply because I am. No reasons needed, no fancy cocktail, no fancy snacks, simply because I am me.

hollyday painting

Reaching out and starting a new friendship is scary, especially when making our way into a new group of friends who’ve known each for a while. I think about what a missed opportunity it would have been if I had listened to my inner negative chatter, and skipped this trip. That inner chatter that says, “Stay home, you don’t belong.” The chatter that says, “You’d better be perfect.” The chatter that says, “This is so hard.”

I invite you to look into your own life. What areas of your own life have you feeling scared of embarking upon? Are you yearning for new friendship? Are you dreaming of a fulfilling job that allows you live your life’s passion? Are you ready for a loving relationship of your dreams? Are you so set in your ways that trying new things is scary? Do you calculate every move such that nothing is spontaneous? Do you allow that incessant chatter in your head to hold you back from experiencing the life of your dreams?
Drop me a note and share; would love to hear from you and I promise to reach back to you wholeheartedly!

Until we meet again, God bless you!

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