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MODAvational Notes: Little White Lies

Posted by on September 7, 2012 | 0 comments

An Introduction from Susan

My commitment is to women being the best they can be on their journey to health and wellness.  This means taking care not only of our bodies, but our minds and spirit as well.  It is with this in mind that I share these MODAvational Notes.  If you would like to receive these messages on a regular basis in your email, please send an email to jen{at}MODAbySofia{dot}com. If you choose to read on, please do so knowing that I am committed to being a positive contribution to you and your life. Enjoy! And please feel free to comment, we would LOVE to hear from you.

 

Little white lies…

These three words have been floating around my head for weeks. Let me share, I am a recovering lieaholic. Growing up I was very clear that lying was wrong, mean, insincere, hurtful; all those things we all know. Mostly I lied to spare someone’s feelings or get myself out of trouble.

I remember my mom saying, “Susan don’t go across the border for the prom after-parties,” Well, I did and got caught.

I remember my mom saying, “Susan, please be home by 10 o’clock.” Well, I wasn’t home by the agreed time and had to lie about why I wasn’t.

It also wasn’t uncommon for me to lie about the bargain price I paid for my shoes. They were really $25 and I exaggerated to make it look like I got a better deal. “Can you believe they were only $20!”

Another easy example of my perpetual lies would be a friend saying, “I love this outfit! What do you think?” I wouldn’t like the outfit, but of course I would agreed because she was so excited about it.

Sometimes these horrible little white lies can create havoc, especially when we get caught and then we create a lie that covers up the first one, then one to cover the second one and so on. The worst part of all this mess is you have to remember all the lies you told and who you told them to! Too much work and for what???  To decrease my Mother’s trust, make myself look better (really?) or have my friend not look her best?

Many years ago, my continuing participation in adult studies landed me right where I needed to be, in a class called Integrity: The Bottom Line. There I really understoond what my Mama was telling me all these years. A lie is a lie – no matter what color you claim it to be – white, yellow, green, or purple. It’s still a lie.

My grandfather was a merchant in Ensenada, Mexico for the better part of 70 years. He was known as Don Miguel and was revered as a leader of the community. I saw him make business deals with nothing more than a handshake and his word; a spoken word that the town respected. His vendors knew him to have integrity, knowing that his word was all they needed to send him merchandise for a payment in the future.

Integrity isn’t just speaking the truth. Being in integrity means you are known for your word, your spoken word, and the actions that follow.  The words you speak and the actions you take create your world and affect those around you.

When I think of my grandfather, I am clear this kind of living is what I want in my life too. It’s a conscious choice I make to have integrity as one of my primary values. Living in a world of integrity is more than just speaking the truth – always the truth – it’s creating a way of being that honors your commitment to self and to those around you. It is creating yourself to be truthful in all you say and do. It is creating yourself as a source of power and freedom to express what there is to say, in a way that leaves those around you feeling empowered to create their own world of integrity.

The kind of person I want to be is having integrity even when I could make myself look better, situations get too sticky and I have to break the news to my girlfriend about that outfit she’s excited about.  Look, I’ll always have her back and want her to look her best. Why lie about that?

In what ways do you need to clean up your integrity?  What little white lies do you need to stop telling yourself or others? We would love to hear from you in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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